The rEGGening: Final Fantasy XIV and the Reshattering of my egg.
After writing about my horrendous 2020, I thought I'd write about something more upbeat. I got Final Fantasy XIV a couple weeks ago, and it's been the most fun I've had in a game
in a while. And not really because of the gameplay itself, but because of the community, and the world. It's all such an uplifting, lively place. I had never really played much Final Fantasy growing up, only dabbling
with Final Fantasy IV on the DS, but I got frustrated and put it down pretty quick.
Final Fantasy XIV is everything I want in an MMO, though. It's gameplay is sufficient and functional, without making it hard to get into, and the game is really pretty for an MMO! It really feels like a world and game
I can not only immerse myself in, but see myself in. And nowhere is that more apparent for me than the character you can create, even if they're very (intentionally) under written. The game does such a good job of letting
you see yourself in your character in how they're designed. And while of course I know the art style is a very hyperbolic and idealistic image of how people look, that's all the more reason why it's effective for me.
I believe that goals are never mean't to be achieved, but instead to be aspirations that lead you in the direction you want to go, so it matches that idea of goals perfectly.
(My character and goals above)
And the goals this game set for me personally reminded me just how much I want to be feminine, and "cute", over anything else. I've always labelled myself as genderfluid as I believe it was an accurate label for a time,
as anxiety and pressure, intentional and unintentional, lead me to continually flip flop between what I wanted. But after 2020, and all it wrought, I've been left with myself again, as well as my friends that have stuck with me.
And Final Fantasy XIV couldn't have struck at a better time. As my head is clearing, and I'm looking towards what's next, it came in and shattered my egg immediately. It reminded me of who I wanted to be, and what I want to be.
So I just wanted to quickly write this as a thank you to Final Fantasy XIV, and my friends who gave me the unintentional push to buy it and dive in. I love you all, onto an amazing 2021 everyone! <3